#1 MAKE TIME AT THE RIGHT TIME
The journey to forming connections begins with being deliberate about time. It is essential to understand, value, and distinguish between structured and informal moments. Structured time, with its routine and predictability, is vital for creating a sense of stability, fostering trust, and supporting growth. Yet, a strict schedule might not fully accommodate the day-to-day variability in how individuals feel or engage. Being physically present at pre-set regulated times is important, but it does not guarantee that our minds and spirits show up alongside us. Sometimes the place to reach those wandering minds is outside of our formal activities. "Informal time"—those intervals between classes or activities, during clean-up, or simply moving from one place to another—is crucial. This time, less constrained by structure, opens up opportunities for spontaneous conversations and interactions that might not surface during more structured periods. It's in these looser moments, that kids may feel more open to sharing, and that we may also be more able to available to listen. Making time at the right time means that your "right" time might not always match their "right" time. It means being attuned to when they need you, not just when you have the time.
#2 KNOW THEIR STORY
Connecting with a child is impossible without first learning who they are, where they are from, and what is foremost in their minds. Everyone has a story, but too many fear no one is listening. Children especially suffer feelings of loneliness and otherness that come from feeling misunderstood or neglected. When an adult steps in and assures a child that "yes, I do want to hear what you have to say," that makes a powerful impression. It is our attempts to understand one another's stories that gives a sense of hope and belonging. The more a child knows they can confide in you, the more a sense of mutual commitment and trust can grow.
#3 BELIVE THEY CAN SUCCEED
The importance of self-esteem and self-efficacy is immeasurable. Research on child development reveals that our sense of self is formed during our early formative years. One of the biggest influences on how we assess ourselves is the feedback we receive from the adults in our lives. Children who receive positive reassurances from their adults are more likely to develop a healthier sense of self confidence than those who receive negative or negligent responses. When we show our kids that we believe in them, they feel encouraged. When kids know that someone is routing for them, they feel empowered to champion that sense of belief.
#4 SUPPORT VITAL CONVERSATIONS
It is essential for children to have a caring adult to whom they can turn for guidance. Having an open line of communication teaches children the importance of expressing their feelings and thoughts, and fosters a healthy emotional outlet routed in mutual trust. The feedback and learning gained from these conversations will help them build problem solving skills with which to navigate challenges. Kids who know they are being heard and taken seriously tend to feel more confident and develop a stronger ability to connect with others empathetically. Allowing children to experience relationships based on trust and listening, are foundational for setting the stage for how they relate to others in the future.
#5 FACILITATE CONNECTIONS WITH OTHER CARING ADULTS
Establishing a broad support network for children is key to ensuring their success. It's important to recognize that no matter how well-intentioned or generous a single person may be, it's impossible for them to meet every need of another. Teaching children to understand and appreciate the diverse strengths and limitations each of us possesses, sets the foundation for them to form balanced expectations of themselves and others. By widening a child's circle of support, we significantly enhance their exposure to a variety of interests, concerns, and life experiences. Ultimately, the greater the number of cheerleaders that a child has in their corner, the stronger their sense of confidence and preparedness for the future.
#6 INTERVENE WHEN THEY NEED YOU MOST
When working with others, we need to establish healthy boundaries that confirm our commitment to one another, and to ourselves. While maintaining these lines is critical, there are times, when what is most critical may fall outside of those preordained lines. This blurriness is especially true when working with children, whose critical thinking skills won't always comport with established rules of engagement. When the health and safety of a child is in question, we need to make a calculated risk assessment that may result in stepping outside of our roles. Such interventions may be preventative, or they may be attempts at a rescue mission. The decision to navigate beyond our usual boundaries is often difficult and nuanced, but when necessary, may quite literately be life saving.